Christmas Letter From Our Government
Hey, check out what the government sent me:
"Dear Citizen,
We all know that Jesus is the reason for the season. It’s a fact. Look it up. It’s called Google. You can look up facts in Google. It’s on the Internets. Look it up. You will find that it is indeed a fact.
Now. Pour your money into buying Christmas gifts. Seriously. Bye tons of shit, koz we need to stimulates the economies, duh! Don’t you realize we are in a recession? Go into dept for your corporate masters! Our future depends on it. Excessive capitalism will make Jesus come back!
We get paid ridiculous amounts of money to run the country as we see fit. And we don’t like it when you educate yourselves, so just accept that we are doing an exceptional job and keep living your lives, and keep on buying stuff. You deserve it, because your lives are likely much harder than ours. Honestly, we appreciate you! Your tax dollars pay for our swimming pools.
Merry Christmas!
From,
The Government.
P.S. Try Walmart for same crazy Christmas bargains! Grab a Walmart credit card! Interest rates range from 10% to 20%, which is no big concern really if you think about it. You don’t even pay interest if you pay it off within a year! How fantastic of them!"
